Rewards of Practicing Authority

The weekend before we moved into the new dorm the head dean slept in her new apartment. So, I was on duty for the last four or so nights. Since the rooms were set up in classrooms in individual cubical like rooms everyone can hear everyone else and any lamps that are left on can be noticed by everyone. The RA was having trouble quieting a particular room down for lights out so I came in and told [lets call her] Andrea to turn off her lights and stop talking. I had to tell her three times and then she still mouthed back to me one last time. I was thinking of what I could do so that she would understand that her behavior was unacceptable. I was really at a loss of what to do because I didn’t want her to think she could walk all over me like that. So, I decided to take her phone away.

The next day (Friday) she came and told she couldn’t find her phone and I told her I took it and the reason I took it. That evening Andrea walked by the office with a friend and a swear word slipped out after she dropped something. That whole evening she was being extremely obnoxious and irritating seeming on purpose and she kept talking back to me as well.

At WA there is a policy where if a girl swears they have a worksheet to fill out about why they swore and what they can do to change, etc... There are three worksheets for three offenses and then on the fourth offense they are sent to ad-committee where further action is applied. I looked in her file and noticed that she had filled two of the three worksheets out so I gave her the last one and explained that she would go to ad-committee next time. This worksheet was almost completely blank and said, ‘In 250 words please explain the effect on other people your misuse of language has caused and explain what you can do to change.

She was very perturbed at me but twenty five minutes later she returned the paper. It had 59 words and basically said, ‘my language did not effect anyone except the dean. Her name is Katherine Miller. To change I will not talk around her ever again.’

I called her back in the office and explained that the sheet was not acceptable and asked her to try again. Another twenty five minutes later I got it back and it was not completely how I wanted it but it was better and longer, so I accepted it. I then essentially said, ‘I know it seems ridiculous that you had to fill out this paper for accidentally letting a word slip but, you can control these accidents and these worksheets will help motivate you to form better habits. I love you and want you to grow into a respectable young lady.’ I said I’d give her phone back the next day in the afternoon and she walked out without saying anything.

On Sunday Andrea came in and wanted to talk to me about something. She actually apologized about how she had been acting. She was sorry for mouthing off and disrespecting me the last few days and said she was under some stress. This was so cool! I forgave her and offered condolences for her stress. Now we’re friends again and all is well.