Following the invisible Leader

I was looking for something to read for staff worship this morning and was looking under the index in the back for the word 'teacher'. I found a passage in Deuteronomy 1:6-18. The really good part was the commentary by Ellen White in the bottom margin of my bible for this text. It says:


'The Lord God of heaven is our Leader. He is a leader whom we can safely follow; for He never makes a mistake. Let us honor God and His Son Jesus Christ, through whom He communicates with the world. It was Christ who gave to Moses the instruction that He gave to the children of Israel. It was Christ who delivered the Israelites from Egyptian bondage. Moses and Aaron were the visible leaders of the people. To Moses instruction was given by their invisible Leader, to be repeated to them. Had Israel obeyed the directions given them by Moses, not one of those who started on the journey from Egypt would in the wilderness have fallen a prey to disease or death. They were under a safe Guide. Christ had pledged Himself to lead them safely to the promised land if they would follow His guidance. This vast multitude, numbering more than a million people, was under His direct rule. They were His family. In every one of them He was interested.'


I have 65 under my guidance. Surely the Invisible leader can help me with that many if He helped Moses with more than a million. Look to the Invisible leader to be your guide so that you may be the visible leader for those in your path.


This was helpful to me.

Fearless leader?

I’m feeling kind of vulnerable. By coming here I have put myself out there to be of service in any way. This means I could be expected to do things that I’m not comfortable with or am not used to doing. I am not used to being expected to lead out in so many things. This week I am supposed to lead the faculty worship. I was also expected to get the chapel service ready for the high-school students. Chapel meets once a week and is a sort of worship program for the kids. Since I am now the high-school administrator/vice principal there are a lot of things that are expected of me.

When there is a problem, the students will come to me first. I also will be expected to be sort of a spokes person to the students whenever the principal can not or does not wish to be there. Today, that is what I did for chapel and I am feeling a little vulnerable because by having that responsibility I have to put myself out there as a leader for the students. I also have to make sure that they listen to me, and I’m not very good at dispensing discipline and tend to look the other way when there is something to be disciplined.

Any faults that I have are open. I can’t hide in any way. I feel that who I am or who I am portrayed to be when I speak out or help them is like a book open for the students and other teachers and principal to see and judge. How I do things may be looked at as the standard and that makes me uncomfortable. It’s very hard. Even though I am doing my best and don’t need to make any excuses for disagreeing to do what is needed, I still feel that what I say is still somehow not what it should be. This may be very confusing… the bottom line is, I’m not used to being look up to like this. I’m being looked up to as someone who should know things.

Jesus lived his life in this way I suppose. He must have felt extremely vulnerable because we all know that people were judging Him all the time. It’s not the judging that is particularly hard though, but the verdict that people come up with. This is because it might not necessarily be completely true and there is no way of knowing if they are correct or not. People keep there judgments to themselves most of the time and if they tell others, you’re probably the last to find out. By loving us Jesus made himself vulnerable. We are free to love him back or not.

I’m no fearless leader anymore but rather a fearful one today. I don’t like coming up with things on the spot, but prefer to be prepared. But in this position I’m expected to be able to get up think of things in the moment. This experience is going to change me, I can tell. I need to get past the point where I’m worried what the students think of me and my decisions. I need to just think of the best thing and follow through with them. They will not dislike me in the long run if I am fair because after all I am a leader and they are not.

Please pray that I can have the knowledge to be fair this year, and that I can overcome the fear of being disliked by students. Discipline is good and many of them need it.

Music class and Catastrophe

So, I found my flip flops that I don’t wear to have molded over the top of them. If that isn’t an appalling sight, I don’t know what is. Also, the metal mesh part that covers the speakers on my computer has begun to rust!!! I hope it lasts the whole time I’m here.

Yesterday I had my first music class. I’m supposed to teach music to the Freshmen and Sophomores. It only meets once a week on Fridays so I’m not sure how much we will learn but then again I don’t know that terribly much so maybe that’s ok. It’s a group of 40 and first and tried to get them to figure out which part they are as in a bass, tenor, alto or soprano. Most of them didn’t know what 4 part harmony was , so I explained it and had them squeak out a chord together. It was marvelous!! I’m so excited. We have a lot of work but I want to get them to a point where it sounds like a real choir. I need some songs that we can learn though and I can’t find any familiar ones online for free. They are all really hard. If all else fails I’ll use a hymnal because most hymns give all four parts. So all I have is a keyboard but it will work just fine. I have no idea how to conduct but they won’t know that. Next week I’m going to introduce some notes and try to have them learn the treble cleft. Then will be the Bass cleft and then time signatures. If any one out there has anything I could use to help in teaching music, by all means please tell me!

So as we were finishing class, Norma (sophomore) was playing for us while we sang some praise songs. She happened to be leaning on her chair and it slipped out from behind her. After landing she just sat there motionless. Blood began dripping from her face. I quickly pulled the chair out from behind her, picked her up and began leading her to the office. I yelled for someone to get some toilet paper. I could tell she was weak in the knees with pain.

What had happened was the edge of the table had scraped her face as she fell to the floor. In the office we were able to see that her gums were bleeding and some cartilage in her nose was also affected. Thankfully nothing was broken. I made all the students gathering around leave. She was going to be fine but all the people around would not help. We got her cleaned up and then let her recover. Riley was a great help. He stepped up and made sure she had everything she needed. By the end of the day she was smiling again but I’m sure very sore.

Even more pictures

The picture with us five is all the girls in the apartment with me. Aila, Kirsten, Me, Olivia, and Kristen. Then there is the beautiful view of the island on one of the highest points with myself in the foreground. There is one of the church and one of the view off our balcony during the rain. Then the fifth picture is the periodic table I made for my classroom.

more pictures

The light pink flowers are wild orchids growing by the church. The pink and green leaves are real. They look like plastic ones you could buy at a family dollar or something. The whitish flower is just really pretty. The crab was found down by the abandoned dock, and the kitten is just a friendly addition to the apartments. She likes to bite.

Some students

The first picture is Zandra; a senior. I really like her very much. I think we could be good friends. Then is Crystle; shophomore. She got the 100% on the bio test. The last two are Riley and Rodney from left to right. The twins. Sophomore and Junior. You can see how similar they are.

Few tests graded and pineapple lei

A student gave me a pineapple lei today!!! I"m so excited. It's this necklace made out of the outside of a pineapple and this grass that smells like ginger. It smells so good everywhere I go now. :) I graded two test and the average for both is right around 75. So I guess that means they are normal. But I see so much more potential in them. No one in chemistry got an A. The biology class test turned out to have a inverted bell curve with barely any C's, a lot of A's and a lot of D's plus some B's and F's. Weird... Anyway, Here is a picture of me in my pineapple lei after a day of teaching.

My class room from the door and from my desk

Some thoughts about things

I've been having this feeling about here. I can tell that I like this place. I can feel myself loving it. I think I will probably cry when I leave. But nevertheless this feeling, I think I may also get homesick for the midwest. I will miss fall coming in this year and the way christmas comes at andrews and also with family. I don't think I'll ever miss driving in the ice but I will miss the snow. I was thinking about how I will be happy the leaves will stay on the trees here but alas, thinking that I"ll miss the process of them falling makes me miss that part even thought it's still summer at home. I like the falling process but dont like how they stay gone for so long.

I can feel myself becoming homesick but it's a very sureal feeling because I can feel myself falling in love with this place too.

What I"m trying to do however is think: why give in to negative feelings about this place if I miss home when I will only be here a year to enjoy this beautiful place. There is a magnificent sunset almost everyday that causes the sky to become a brilliant glowing thing. At night there are crickets chirping and I can even pick out the mosquitoes buzzing. It's weird because it sounds like a mosquito is about to come fly by your ear but you know it's probably not because you're actually hearing how many of them they are that are far away. The view from the school is so nice too. There is a soft hill that comes up from the canal of water that passes by the school. The mangrove trees have such charm. And I know I"ll miss seeing geckos on the wall and having no one even bat an eye because they're so common.

I know culture shock is coming and I"m dreading that time but I think I'll be able to pull out of it pretty quickly. I'm already through two whole weeks and that baffles me. This is going to happen so fast I don't think I should get caught up on wanting to leave.

My students are good kids. I can see so much potential in them. I gave the first test yesterday. Chemistry. The average of all the scores was exactly a 75. This indeed is an average but I know they are capable of so much better! the highest was an 88 and I didn't have any A's. I'm going to have a discussion with them and also help them understand that it is their responsibility to learn in the same way that it's mine to teach them. It can't be one sided or there will only be one sided results.

I was working in my classroom last night and on my way back to the apartment I stopped at the deck that looks over the water and hill. It was kind of scary walking over there in the pitch blackness but when I began talking to Jesus the feeling melted away. I sat there for about a half an hour just soaking it in. Telling him that I don't want to get distracted by homesickness. I have everything to be thankful for. It was beautiful.

The starts here are magnificent. You can see the milky way very clearly. Even with street lights on near you it is brilliant because there's nothing besides the island lights for miles and miles of ocean. Sometimes I forget that I'm on an island and then I'll be in the car and drive up a hill to see that at the top you can see it in the distance, or we'll drive past it.

I almost went running this morning; but it was raining. I think maybe I should have gone anyways. I plan on starting next week no matter what. Things are less stressful now. I'm getting a hang on things.

Please pray for Olivia who woke up with chills this morning and went to the hospital for some medicine. I'm hoping it's only a short cold or something. Kristen got a stomach bug last week from eating some milk that probably had been left out before the store. Several students have some kind of cold right now and are missing school too. Pray that we all stay well. I had a banana, some papaya and an orange this morning in hopes to ward off anything that might decide to bombard my body.

Today I'm giving a biology test and physical science test. I think they will do better than the Juniors did with chemistry. They seem to still think school is important. We'll see how it goes. Pray for them and my Seniors who will have a physics test on monday. They are serious minded but I don't think they're holding on to what I tell them. They understand but their homework says they don't.

Sabbaths are very nice here. They give that needed break. I can finally think and recollect myself for another hard week. The people here all have wonderful voices too and it's really nice to hear them singing at church. I'm very thankful for Sabbaths.

Canceled out compliment, common lice and appointed responsibility 8/25/09

Yesterday I received a compliment and then was told I looked sick. I let my hair down to dry instead of having it up which is not what I normally do. Melissa came up to me and said ‘Miss, you look pretty today!’ I was so happy! What a compliment. Then at lunch when I was walking to the ad building Dukay asked me if I was sick!!! And I said no, I’m tired though. So do these comments cancel each other out? I’m not sure. Oh, well. So, Melissa liked my hair, and Dukay could tell I was tired. At least my students are thinking of me right?

Olivia, the 5th grade teacher had a class demonstration today and used one of my microscopes to show them a cell. The students thought it was so cool and then wanted to look at something else under the microscope. One student exclaimed, ‘let’s look at some lice under the microscope.’ Another boy said, ‘ooh, so and so has lice!’ and then they proceeded to pick out a louse from their friends hair!!! Olivia was disgusted as anyone should be and said ‘no, no! put it back!’ The students then squashed the insect and smeared it on their papers. OH MY GOODNESS!!! Are lice that common that it’s no big deal to them and even so common that they would willingly pick one out from a friends head?!! I really don’t want to get lice…. Ughgh…

Also, yesterday the principal informed me that I would be the Vice Principal for the high-school. I will be responsible for meetings when all the high-school teachers get together. I’ll have to make decisions about problem students and such if they are simple enough that the principle wouldn’t be needed. I would also then be in charge of the high-school if the principal was not present. I guess I seem to be very organized and prepared and competent enough for the job. I was taken aback when I found out I was being considered for it but I guess one teacher is always chosen out to do the job each year. We’ll see how this goes.

Tests and copier problems

I"m terribly sorry I haven't been posting pictures. The wireless internet has been out for almost a week and it's really annoying to upload pictures on dial up.

So, I've been writing my first tests recently and it's pretty hard work. I'm not sure if I'm making them too hard or not because I know all the answers. I also don't want to make them too easy. They should know all the answers on the test because we covered it but at the same time I feel like I might be underestimating them if I make it any easier. We'll see how the first tests go.

I have a prayer request! The copiers that we both have just ran out of toner. This means that I can't print anything, including my tests. Toner takes about a month to be ordered and the other copier that has toner keeps jamming and has been jamming since last year. I don't know how I'm going to teach with out printed tests! I guess I could read all the questions to them but I don't think that would work very well because others are faster than others.

Please pray that something gets worked out or that I can come up with a better idea for my tests. Thank you.

These kids 8/21/09

These kids are all very bright. I can tell that most of them want to grasp concepts but some of them don’t want to do work. They want to play. To be completely honest, they are just like high-schoolers in the states. I love them already.
I know 30 by name already. Rodney and Riley are identical twins but one is a sophomore and one is a junior. I thought I might have problems with them at first because they tried tricking us because they look so alike but they both seem to want to learn and have done well so far. I think they just like to have fun. Then there is Dukay, Ronald, Zandra, JJ, Renz, Jerrick, Falmog, Hannah, Filly, Crystal and Elaine who stuck out to me right away as gems. even though all are precious I think there will always be a few that make you feel that way. Febe, Jimmy, Troy, Melissa, Cory, Abraham, Joyce, Lesila, Chris, Resa, Rachel, Jon Liezel, Leyah, Johannah, Norma, and Merlin. I have a total of about 60. Maybe 59, or 61.

The Seniors are all pretty serious about learning and I’m thankful for that. There are 9 of them. There are 13 Juniors and they seem like I will have to work extra hard to them to grasp chemistry but they are such a fun group! Sophomores total 21 and they are in my homeroom class. They seem bright too, but will need some discipline here or there. They seem excited about Biology this year. The freshmen seem very little. They seem to soak up everything I say yet I think I’ll need to work hard with them too as many are having a hard time with some things so far. In health class today (which meets once a week) they were so interested in what I was saying. I talked about how breakfast is super important and snacking disturbs the digestive cycle. I think they were so engrossed because half of them don’t eat breakfast and I know everyone snacks at least occasionally. They asked me if I snacked and if I ate meat and they were so intent on my answers.

I can already pick out the lazy ones, but they have such personalities. There are many that I know will go beyond when it comes to studying. Their just like teen-agers anywhere. Resa gave me a hug today and said I was the best when we decided to have free time instead of class today. It was the first one I got and it was really nice. They all seem to really like me, but they also know I mean business. When people say the teachers don’t get paid enough, I can now with experience say, it is true!! They should be paid as much as doctors!!! They have to do so much work!!! But it’s cool. This week was exhausting.

Some Yapese Culture 8/21/09

Olivia, one of the other teachers said she was talking to one of her students and she said, “I’m turning 11 soon and I don’t want to learn 11.” When Olivia inquired why it was because she would then have to do things she didn’t want to do such as leave the room when her brother entered, and where the traditional grass skirts at home. I don’t think that the whole island hold onto the old Yapese culture like this but it is still very much alive in some homes.

In P.E. class we had the students line up in two lines and do push ups. Junior named Dukay asked me if he could turn around to do the push ups. I asked why and he said that in their culture it was sometimes not appropriate for boys to be behind the girls and in the line some boys where behind girls.

It is things like these that make me realize that I am probably seeing a lot of things about Yapese culture with out even noticing it. Another thing that I was told about is that instead of nodding for yes, they raise their eyebrows. Maybe that’s why often times my students will just stare at me until I ask them repeatedly. I haven’t noticed the eyebrow raising yet but some of the elementary teachers have. This is fascinating and I want to be able to pick up on it.

After three days of teacing 8/20/09

First of all, they weren’t joking when they said that when you teach you learn the most. I know the scientific method on the back of my hand. The hard part about it though was when I started the idea of forming a hypothesis what a little shady and I had o figure it out before I could teach it. I made a week of lesson plans on Sunday and then when Monday came I realized that I didn’t plan enough!! 50 minutes is a long time and when I had finished going over the syllabus I had 20 students just waiting to see what I was going to do next. I pulled through and ended up asking them what their favorite animals were since it was biology. We all understood that it was kind of lame, but with each animal I was able to come up with a story from my experience and they thought it was fun and they laughed several times.

Monday: my eyes were opened and I became super stressed out because I had to make better lesson plans. I started at 3 and ended at 11:30 when I could finally crawl into bed.

Tue: Up and 5:30, This day was better I lasted most of the class period and was able to draw more stuff from the book to finish in the classes. Lesson plans took until 11:00 this day. I had physics make paper towers and compete to see who could make the tallest from one sheet of paper.

Wed: This day was better too. I can do this… I had two labs. A microscope lab with bio and a density measuring lab with chem. They like labs. I had to be tough on procedure and rules on the chem class. I was afraid they thought maybe I was mean. But after lab Rodney, one of the students that I thought might be a problem student said that it was a cool lab. What a great thing for a teacher to hear!!! They liked it! In Bio I had them look at different slides and some puddle water under the microscope. The water had little micro organisms and they were all amazed. Wednesday night I finished lesson plans at 8:00. Praise God, I was able to go to sleep at 9:45. Yes…

Today is Thursday and I think it will go pretty good. It will be challenging again. Teaching is exhausting. This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done, mentally. Thankfully the Physics class is very mature. They are seniors and I don’t think there will be any problems. Juniors are the ones I need to keep an eye on but I think they know I mean business now. Sophomores are similar but not quite as much. Freshmen are so cute. Haha. They are so young and seem to soak up what I say, or at least they try. Poor little Elain though , doesn’t seem to be getting it… her paper s never make sense. Sabbath is almost here… rest is coming.

Potluck Buffet, Amazing view, and Sunset with Hermit Crabs 8/15/09

After church today we had a potluck buffet and it was so cool! I got to try lots of things.

Taro Root: Very similar to a potato but firmer; a nice flavor a little different than the potato. One person brought it plain and another had mashed the root and formed it into balls and then poured a coconut cream over them. Both were very good.

Breadfruit: The fact that this is called a fruit is a little odd to me. The texture is like a mixture between a potato and bread. Not sweet or juicy in the slightest. I liked it though. It had a mild flavor; very simple.

Sugarcane: This is amazing. It comes in a stalk like bamboo and your chew it and spit out the fibers. It is very juicy and refreshing with a very slight sweet taste. The fact that this juice is processed so much to get what we call sugar kind of appalls me. No wonder we have so many health problems.

They had something that was similar to a grapefruit and tasted almost the same. The skin however was ridiculously thick, more so even than a Pumelo which also has a thick skin.

There was this banana desert which was just that: banana. It was ripe bananas baked until they turned into what looks like a gloppy gluey mess but tastes like caramelized banana. Yum…

Also were these little pancake thinks rolled up into churro like things with coconut and sugar in the middle; very tasty.

They had several types of beans served spiced different ways and they also had chicken soup and whole dead cooked fishes, both of which I did not partake of.
We got to take a plate of leftovers home. It was a really cool experience.

Then later that day we went to one of the highest points on the island to see the view. Wow!! It’s gorgeous up there. You can see about half the island. Then we went to the beach to see the sunset. I liked how when looking over the water from up high and also on the beach you could see it raining afar off in several places. On the beach there were the cutest little hermit crabs running around. This place is full of so many cool creatures! We then had a short worship and headed home. Tomorrow I have to finish a of things and get ready for school to start on Monday!!! This includes lesson plans… Aaaahhhh!

Pray for me.

Pray for me. Things have gone well so far but I have 9 classes to teach and feel like there are not enough hours in the day. I need more sleep and lately I've been sweating more than usual. My skin is starting to feel like a rash is forming in certain places from being hot and sweaty all the time... It's so gross. I'm constantly damp everywhere even 30 minutes after showering. Preparing lesson plans is a killer. Just pray. Thank you.

Temporary pet gecko, Roach Homicide, Infant Garden and Laboratory

Tonight I managed to catch a gecko. He's pretty cute. Geckos are the lizards that can walk up walls and such. One of them leaped past me when I opened a door yesterday. It was quite alarming and I was surprised that he would aim in my direction. I have him in an ice-cream tub with plastic over the top with holes poked for air. There are grass and leaves in the tub. I felt kind of bad actually, so I let him go. It feel so cool on your hand because their little hands are sticky. The eyes are also very captivating to look at.

I discovered a way to kill cockroaches. If I squirt rubbing alcohol at them they dehydrate from the outside in through their exoskeleton. Then they die. It's very morbid. I think perhaps squashing them is a better alternative but this way seems cleaner. Three of us girls were squealing as we watched the insect squirm and then die. Olivia wants to catch on now and keep it as a pet, haha. Not that bad of an idea actually. Perhaps I will too.

I started some of my seeds in potting soil today. I'm super excited to see them sprout. The principal said that he will show us a place that we can cultivate some soil for them later.

Today I began organizing the Lab room. Was that ever fun!! I kept finding so many goodies! I came upon some boxes and after opening one I exclaimed, "ringstands!!", and joyfully put them together. Next was, "test tube racks!!", and then "Physics motion and friction kits!!!". All new stuff that I get to play with and figure out how to teach with. Labs are going to be so much fun. I set up some Lab tables and put glassware and such away in the drawers with 2 stations per table.

I just about finished writing my syllabi and I think it will be a good year. I've got some class management procedures and I plan to be strict but also joyful. I plan on smiling a lot. I can't wait... :)

Tonight we went to a Friday night vespers service. We did song service and then listed to the division president speak. He spoke about how there is a spot near Orion’s belt where light is coming from. Scientist cannot explain the brightness of that light. Many believe that it is the gate of heaven. I can’t wait to see Jesus coming in the sky. The wonder to catch his gaze and feel that blessed recognition. I think I will cry with happiness…

Shopping and Syllabi 8/13/09

Today was really exciting because we went into town and I found some great things that I didn’t expect. I found this amazing apple cinnamon cereal which is picture above. I’m so delighted because is has flaxseed in it!! I also found a bag of barley. I’m really happy about that because it will provide some variety in the types of grains I eat. I also got some seed packages of tomatoes, beets, spinach, broccoli and radishes!! I can’t wait to begin cultivating them for food. :) They will be delicious additions.

Later this evening I began writing syllabi for my classes. Ugh, is that ever difficult. I really want to have a well managed class and I think so far my planning is going ok. I need to be consistent with what I tell them. I think I’ll be able to do that. My classroom is nearly finished. I’ll post some pictures of it probably tomorrow.

One of the other student missionaries is having trouble with being able to stay here because she is not a U.S. Citizen. She’s from Germany and is here on a tourist status. She will need to leave and fill out some paper work on another island close by and may not be able to return until a month later. Someone else will need to teach her 3rd grade class while she’s gone and such. We are all praying that this will not be a problem and that perhaps she will be able to come back relatively quickly. Please keep her in your prayers.

Cleaning and Rain Showers 8/10/09

Kirsten and I went and gathered some Taro in the woods today. When the internet kicks up again we’re going to look up how to cook it.

I cleaned out my classroom today. It’s really big! I swept it and cleaned the floors and wiped down all the windows. The windows are like glass blinds that can be opened or shut except they are stuck open. As I was wiping them down it started to down pour and was a help in the process. I got soaking wet in the process but I’m not complaining. Then I arranged the desks and took out the trash. Tomorrow I will put up posters and clean the science lab room.

Each hour that went by added to the bonding process of me and my classroom. At the end it felt really nice to sit at my teachers table in the corner and gaze upon it all. I spent a little time looking through some papers that were left in the room from last year and it seeped to re-spark my excitement for this year. Some of my students came by and looked at what I was doing. If I could rewind I would have acted differently. I didn’t say much to them, but just smiled, said I was the science teacher and asked them what class they were in. I wish I would have introduced myself. I only asked one of them what his name was and I can’t even remember what it was. I don’t know what I want them to call me yet. Miss Katherine? Or Miss Miller?

Even though most of the boys were Juniors, they looked so young to me. It surprised me as I thought they might not even be in high-school. Were my classmates and I that small when we were in high-school? I think they will probably have a growth spurt pretty soon.

I thank God for the rain today. It was not nearly as humid and sweaty as usual. It sounds so nice and makes it cool and refreshing. The rain on the metal roof is a nice sound; kind of lulling.

Work, Food, and Snorkeling 8/9/09

Today Kirsten and I went back to a place on our walk yesterday where a pool of water had some tadpoles and I collected some along with some little water snails. I put this and some mud and leaves into the fishbowl that was in our apartment. Now we can see them grow!

Then we all spent the morning raking up the elementary school playground field. I got two blisters and a lot of sore muscles. For lunch we had rice, lentils bread and jam and then some vanilla, coconut water, papaya popsicles. Chilled coconut water is simply heavenly… The homemade bread is really good. I don’t think we’ll be buying any more bread from the store.

We are running out of food pretty fast. Five people eat a lot. Unfortunately the store with most of the vegetables is the farthest away. We’ll need to make a trip tomorrow. It’s only a few kilometers but none of us have gotten our license okayed here so we’ll have to ask for a ride.

I did some laundry today and hung it out to dry. Laundry soap is only 35 cents for a pound; very economical.

Here in Yap we’re 15 hours ahead of Wisconsin time, or 9 behind and then subtract a day. Haha! So, it’s 2:00 pm here on Sunday and 11:00 pm on Saturday in Wisconsin. I think Jet lag is pretty much gone now.

We went snorkeling today and it was so cool!!! The fish were so cute. I got some pictures and then my camera died. The beach was really nice. I climbed a palm tree and had a hard time getting down. I can’t wait to go back there.

Walk 8/8/09

We went for a walk today and saw ‘Yap Canyon’. It was really cool because there were these canyon like things but they were made out of red dirt rather than rock. You could see the ocean on three sides of which was a reminder of how small the island really is. We sang a few songs, had a short worship and then walked back.

There are a lot of stray dogs on the island. The two that live by the school are Bolgas and Jack. There is a little cat named ‘kitty’ or ‘ginger’ and he likes to bite. It’s all in good fun to him but it usually hurts! There are so many coconut trees here; lots of cool flowers too. I saw some wild orchids and also some pitcher plants that collect insects inside them.

Principal Fonseka showed us how to cut open coconuts with a machete and we drank the water and tried the young coconut meat. You can spoon it out like custard when it is young enough. I hope to makes smoothies with it sometime. We collected a bunch of the water in a pitcher and are going to have it for breakfast tomorrow. It should be nice chilled.

Despite all the humidity, my skin looks really healthy. I will never need lotion here. And I think I’ve nearly conquered my chapstick addiction. I’m hoping all the sweating will purge my pores clean instead of causing them to break out. Time will tell.

For supper we had rice and lentils and started a loaf of bread in the bread machine. We have a rice cooker but it doesn’t work. I cut up a papaya for tomorrow. It’s so pretty to cut. I love the bright coral pink color. I finally finished unpacking. Today was a good day.

The Humidity... and also some other stuff 8/8/09

I have more to say about the humidity. It is absolutely ridiculous!!! I feel as though I am in a hot bathtub all the time but have some remarkable ability to breath. I must have sprouted gills or something. I am constantly coated in a layer of sludge. At night when I finally peel off my clothing I have no complaints about the shower not having hot water. The cool stream is entirely inviting. Again I shower when I wake up and feel clean for about 15 minutes at the most. In church on Sabbath I didn’t drink enough water and felt faint and dizzy. It’s hard to believe how much water is lost through continual sweating. I felt better after another half jug of water and realize more now of how I need to be taking in. Will my body get used to this? I severely hope so…

Besides the humidity, we saw a gecko on the wall last night. He was huge! Definitely 8 inches long. He scrambled across the walls and into the kitchen cupboard. I wanted a picture of him but he was too fast. When I opened the door of the cupboard I saw his head tilted towards mine in a quizzical look, his beady eyes met my gaze for a short moment and then he scampered down onto the counter and jumped to the floor as us five girls gave out a simultaneous shriek. I’m glad they’re here and I hope they eat the cockroaches. He ended up hiding among the pots and pans below the countertop.

Earlier on Friday the Principals wife Mary cut open each of us a green coconut with a machete and gave us a straw to drink the cool coconut water. My word! It was so delicious and refreshing… I like coconut water.

Church Today 8/08/09

The church is really quaint, I like it a lot. It has those kneeling cushion things that are in catholic churches. I don’t know why all churches don’t have those things because kneeling kills my knees… None of the other girls had the courage to play piano for song service today so I plunked out the right hand to the hymns. The piano is severely out of tune but charming. Later on Aila agreed to play and was marvelously better than I. It was fun to try it though.

Sabbath school was really good today. We talked about how Jesus was human and also God. The main text that stuck out to me was John 5:38. “But you do not have His word abiding in you, because who He sent, Him you do not believe.” John 1:1 says, In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” So according to the previous verse if we don’t believe in whom God sent, which was Jesus, we will not have the Word abiding in us, known as Jesus as well. So, unless we believe Jesus was also God, He will not go with us. 1 John 2:23 says, “Whoever denies the Son does not have the Father either; he who acknowledges the Son has the Father also.” So, when we believe in Jesus as God we will have the Father God with us also.

In John 6:54 Jesus tells us, “Whoever eats my flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day.” When we eat flesh, or anything for that matter, it becomes part of us. So, in this verse Jesus is not saying that we should literally eat Him, but that if we take part in Him, or intimately know Him then who we are will become like Him. Just like the saying, “you are what you eat”. We will be changed. We will be less selfish and more selfless. Our wants will be more about others and less about how we can exalt our selves or get for ourselves things that make us happy. We will become more loving as Christ was.

I can testify of this as being truth because as I have drawn closer to Christ and developed a relationship with him, I can see that many of the things that I used to care about are less than they were. The things that I used to want do not seem as important anymore. I feel that I can more clearly see what is truly important in life. Now, of course I cannot say that I know nearly enough about life to be looked upon as those who have more experiences and age as myself but what I have learned is that in all things it is better to forget about personal interests and try to make others happy and to show them what I’ve discovered in Jesus. This doesn’t mean that I have to go and outright tell everyone to believe in Christ even though in some cases that may be appropriate. Living by example is sometimes the biggest profession to Christ there is.

It’s weird to be explaining this from where I am. Technically I am now a missionary, but by all means, I don’t feel like one. I’m in a foreign place with a different climate and food and people, but I feel as small as ever. I don’t feel like I remember imagining how missionaries in stories felt. I feel like…me. It’s my prayer that I can be used by God somehow. I hope that my students will find what I have found.

Cockroaches, Humidity and a Cock-a-doodle-doo 8/7/09

The first cockroach was not that big. It was a relief because I had conjectured these gigantic monster cockroaches in my imagination. The second one was bigger but honestly they’re not that ugly. I think they’re kind of beautiful actually. The wings are a dark mahogany brown and are nice and smooth. Their heads are a pretty caramel color. The antennas are very long but are rather cute when they move around. The legs are very bristly which is a little creepy and the way they scuttle about is sort of charming in a way but only when they’re not headed towards me.

Oh my word! It is hot here yes, but the air is so thick! It’s very humid. Last night I slept without any covers of any kind. Jet lag is pretty rough. I woke up several times during the night and had a hard time falling back asleep but am not quite sure if that was because of the jet lag or just the excitement running through my mind.

In the morning I woke up at 5 and could not fall back asleep. I wandered into the kitchen and tried some of the tiny bananas that the principal had provided for us. They’re so good! Nice and sweet but not mushy, almost chewy in a way. I like these bananas. They’re about 6 inches long, nice and fat and easy to peel. When I went back to my bed it was starting to get lighter out and a rooster began crowing. It’s all kind of charming. Now the next big thing is to unpack…

Arrival in Yap

So when we flew in there were about a hundred people gathered around to see who came off the plane. After going through the small customs booth the Yapese girl put a lei type thing around my neck but it was not like a necklace. It was more in the style of graduation cords. It was braded leaves with flowers along it; very beautiful. Then teh principal's wife gave each of us a head wreeth made of the same sort of thing. The Yapese girl was in the traditional dress with the large grass skirt and a grass decoration around the neck. We were introduced to several people and I even got to meet a futre student. He seemed happy to meet me which is a good sign. When he smiled I could see the red staining in his teeth from the beetle nut which his common here. It is in some ways similar to chewing tobacco. I hope I don't have many issues with that during class. I need to come up with a way of discouraging it's use in class.

We then got into this reckety old van and drove on a pot hole covered road to the school. That was the longest 7 kilometers ever! I thought it would never end. At the school us 5 girls moved into our apartment and chose rooms. I am in the green room with Kirsten. I made curtains out of the airplane blankets. It looks very homey. One more girl will be coming later. Since we came in at night it was hard to really get a good look at things. Tere were a lot of stray dogs runing around.

Reassured

So I've been increasingly becoming more nervous about teaching in Yap. The intimidations of controlling a classroom of students that very likely don't care about learning have caused me to be kind of scared. But then while on the plane I was thinking and came to the realization that this whole time I've been getting more nervous, I've actually been thinking in the wrong way. I've been thinking about myself and my decision to come and had forgotten about God's decision to send me. God has things that only I can do for him in Yap. I believe that there are specific people that God may be trying to reach by my being here. I think that God has specific people for everyone to reach. For what other reason are we here then, but to somehow reach out to someone who needs to see the love of God? Why am I worrying? Yes it's going to be hard at times and the things I'll have to face and overcome will be difficult but I have nothing to worry about inthe end. For God will not give us anything that we are not strong enough to withstand, especiallyl with His aid. I've known this all along but why do I forget so easily? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). Realizing this once again has caused me to be a bit more at ease. If God has the confidecne to use me then I really don't need to be scared about this at all.

Hawaii Orientation

This place is really beautiful. I spent Sabbath in LA with a nice family and then flew to Hawaii on Sunday. It was really cool to meet all the future SMs. We went to Waikiki which is the famous beach here. It was actually quite small but the water was great. I've met a lot of really great new friends. We all met here to be taught how to teach in 2 days. There were some really helpful videos and now my ideas are so ambitious I hope that I can do them. I got a better idea on how to manage my classroom. This blog is not very thought out as I still have to get ready for the flight to Yap today. today is the 5th of August and we are going to be flying over the international dateline. When I get to Yap it will be 9pm on the 6th I think. The 6th is my birthday and I will have completely lost most of it into the abyss of.... somewhere? haha. It's kind of funny actually. While in LA the pastor found out who I was and where I was going and had me come up and tell a little about it. That church was very supportive and said that if I need anything, I should contact them and I will have it. Everyone keeps telling me that this experience is going to change my life. I've probably heard it at least 40 times in the last couple months. How much will it change? I kind of like my life. I am in aww at the thought of how it might change. The important thing is to embrace it I think, for God is in control. I look forward to telling about the experience I will have. I've realized that I feel less freaked out if I make myself not think about the year as a whole and as just a day at a time. It's not that bad, just one breath after another and I'll still be breathing at the end. God is good, and I can't let my insecureties get in the way of what he want's to do. I just need to be open and forget about being nervous. Above are some pictures of Hawaii. 1st is Waikiki, 2nd is an amazing view of the mountains, 3rd is on a jungle hike to a waterfall and 4th is the sunrise this morning at the SDA school here.