Weekend, Spring, Content, Realization

Early this weekend the academy was hosting music fest which is a weekend where elementary students come from all over the state to participate in a singing clinic. Saturday afternoon there was a concert put on by all music students including our own. It was very nice. There were so many visiting students that there were 85 girls needing a place to stay. We were able to stay within fire code with only around 40 of the girls in the new dorm and the rest stayed in the gym and used beds that we had been using in our previous makeshift dorm. It was a very tiring few days because these elementary girls were loud and often disrespectful. They’re at the age when they’re beginning to become their own person. I am glad I don’t plan on teaching elementary school. That is all I will say.

Students took today as an opportunity to lay out on the grass and just hang out side. Spring has been welcomed with open arms. I went with several girls on an afternoon walk and we cut through a grassed corn field path to get back. I noticed a little mole as he scampered into a new hiding place after we had startled him. Frogs were happily singing away and I could see evidence of all the earthworms that have started unearthing bits of fresh soil.

Right now I’m typing as study hall is under way and the dorm is very quiet. I think everyone is tired and glad for things to be back to normal again. I was mopping up a mess in the laundry room a few minutes ago and I was thinking that I’m feeling a quiet, content feeling. I’m not worried about anything; just simply here and glad to be breathing. It’s rather refreshing.

I’ve come to a realization. It’s been gradual and I’ve understood it long before now but now it’s actually become a point in my brain. That is, that we need to put our utmost best into each encounter with every person. I’ve had opportunities to talk with many of the girls on an individual basis or in a small group and they have turned out to be really cool conversation about who they were and what they are going through. At the time it seemed like we were really connecting but then very often that time turns out to be the only opportunity with them in that way. And so, if I had been crabby that day and let myself be short or uninterested in them in that moment, I would have lost my opportunity.

I had a goal at the beginning of the semester to somehow take interest in each girl in the dorm and get to know them each individually. I have not really done that to the degree that I was anticipating. I’m not sure if it’s possible now that I really think about it. Each person needs different sorts of people to reach them. I do think though, that an impact can be made even if it’s only the slightest. For some girls I know I have made some sort of impact and on others it’s only been slight. But whatever size the impact is, it is extremely important that we treat each other with abounding love and patience. We should be interested, and listen the best we can, not just because that is how we want to be treated, but because each person deserves to experience such love.

Whether it’s been multiple times or only once, I cherish the short moments when I’ve connected with these girls.

So, this is not particularly related to deaning.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Great Controversy. I started reading in Yap around September. I read it almost every day in Yap, then took a two month break and then started up again. So minus the break time, it took about six months. It's a very long book, with a lot to think about. It starts out discussing the infant Christian church and follows it through the ages discussing the hardships and victories that it encounters. It ends with scenes of bright light and glorious love as our redeemer, Jesus Christ, finally conquers sin forever.

We are in this great controversy at this very moment and have been for the entirety of our lives. Earth is an invisible battle ground where angels and people alike are striving to overcome. The people and angels are of two classes. One class follows the living God, and the other, whether by denial of the all wonderful love of God or by open acceptance, follows the great deceiver, the devil himself.

This year has had many controversial moments. This life has had many controversial moments as I'm sure everyone reading this can also relate. Life here is not easy. Through it all I can say that I am tired, ready to go home to that place and be with my God.

Reading the last portion of the book was a not quite how I expected it to be. Reading of how the wicked of the earth will be put to death was not a pleasant thought. Yes, they will die and finally feel no more hatred or agony of the sin they have chosen, but part of me was very sad, for I wanted to do something to show them their wrong. Why did they chose sin when they had every opportunity to choose God? The answer to this question is a mystery, just as it is a mystery that one man could cover all our sins to free us. Both sides of the spectrum brings questions.

If sin could be explained, it would no longer continue to be sin. It would be justified, validated, and advocated of which it is not. Why would a perfect being first sin? If we knew why, the reason would make it acceptable, but it isn't. By witnessing the atrocity of sin played out in its entirety we will be able to grasp those concepts so hard to realize.

In each of our lives God allows just enough uncertainty for us to doubt but also just enough reason to believe. We are then put into a position where we must, either deliberately or by avoidance, choose to doubt the love of God or cling to it with all our strength. Evil angels and godly angels battle to win us to their side, but ultimately this choice is ours.

After pondering all this over yet again, I was overjoyed to read the last several paragraphs:

There the redeemed shall know, even as also they are known. The loves and sympathies which God Himself has planted in the soul shall there find truest and sweetest exercise. The pure communion with holy beings, the harmonious social life with the blessed angels and with the faithful ones of all ages who have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, the sacred ties that bind together the whole family in heaven and earth - these help to constitute the happiness of the redeemed.

There, immortal minds will contemplate with never-failing delight the wonders of creative power, the mysteries of redeeming love. There will be no cruel, deceiving foe to tempt to forgetfulness of God. Every faculty will be developed, every capacity increased. The acquirement of knowledge will not weary the mind or exhaust the energies. There the grandest enterprises may be carried forward, the loftiest aspirations reached, the highest ambitions realized; and still there will arise new heights to surmount, new wonders to admire, new truths to comprehend, fresh objects to call forth the powers of mind and soul and body.

All treasures of the universe will be open to the study of God's redeemed. Unfettered by mortality, they wing their tireless flight to worlds afar - worlds that thrilled with sorrow at the spectacle of human woe and rang with songs of gladness at the tidings of a ransomed soul. With unutterable delight the children of earth enter into the joy and the wisdom of unfallen beings. They share the treasures of knowledge and understanding gained through ages upon ages in contemplation of God's handiwork. With undimmed vision they gaze upon the glory of creation - suns and stars and systems, all in their appointed order circling the throne of Deity. Upon all things, from the least to the greatest, the Creator's name is written, and in all are the riches of His power displayed.

And the years of eternity, as they roll, will bring richer and still more glorious revelations of God and of Christ. As knowledge is progressive, so will love, reverence, and happiness increase. The more men learn of God, the greater will be their admiration of His character. As Jesus opens before them the riches of redemption and the amazing achievements in the great controversy with Satan, the hearts of the ransomed thrill with more fervent devotion, and with more rapturous joy they sweep the harps of gold; and ten thousands times ten thousand and thousands of thousands of voices unite to swell the mighty chorus of praise.

The great controversy is ended. Sin and sinners are no more. The entire universe is clean. One pulse of harmony and gladness beats through the vast creation. From Him who created all, flow life and light and gladness, throughout the realms of illimitable space. From the minutest atom to the greatest world, all things, animate and inanimate, in their unshadowed beauty and perfect joy, declare that God is love.

Patience

I've had a dry blogging spell. I hadn't even given it much thought because things have sunk in so much. I've lately been feeling some restlessness about being just about the only twenty something on campus. Its' really starting to get to me. I enjoy exertions into town and days I see my family and friends more than ever. They mean a lot to me. I've been a little scatterbrained lately but I feel like I've been a bit distracted lately but hopefully that will end now.

Tutoring is in full swing now. I have found that even when I'm not feeling all that great, when I'm helping the students I have endless patience. I thank God for this gift. I really don't know what to say about it except that it astounds me that I can explain something and then do it again in a different way, then encourage them to try themselves and keep a calm, collected, patient, happy attitude. If I'm feeling irritated about something when I start I feel a little better when I finish. It's really astounding.

Tutoring isn't quite the same as teaching because it's on an individual level. The dynamics are very different and I didn't know much about it until I began it. I'm discovering that I like it but in a different way than teaching in a classroom. The subject matter is much more random in that I have to learn with the students because I'm not following along on a lesson plan.

I want to thank God again for the abilities He has given me to serve Him and others. The following text is Galatians 5:22-26 found in The Message Bible which is a paraphrase translation. It wouldn't be used when doing Bible study but it can be helpful and offers a clearer picture sometimes as it puts the Bible in a more literal language. I find what is says particularly nice.

But what happens when they live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way tat fruit appears in an orchard - things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction of the holiness found in God . We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off of good - crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make suer that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implicatiosn in every detail of our lives. that means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.