So, this is not particularly related to deaning.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Great Controversy. I started reading in Yap around September. I read it almost every day in Yap, then took a two month break and then started up again. So minus the break time, it took about six months. It's a very long book, with a lot to think about. It starts out discussing the infant Christian church and follows it through the ages discussing the hardships and victories that it encounters. It ends with scenes of bright light and glorious love as our redeemer, Jesus Christ, finally conquers sin forever.

We are in this great controversy at this very moment and have been for the entirety of our lives. Earth is an invisible battle ground where angels and people alike are striving to overcome. The people and angels are of two classes. One class follows the living God, and the other, whether by denial of the all wonderful love of God or by open acceptance, follows the great deceiver, the devil himself.

This year has had many controversial moments. This life has had many controversial moments as I'm sure everyone reading this can also relate. Life here is not easy. Through it all I can say that I am tired, ready to go home to that place and be with my God.

Reading the last portion of the book was a not quite how I expected it to be. Reading of how the wicked of the earth will be put to death was not a pleasant thought. Yes, they will die and finally feel no more hatred or agony of the sin they have chosen, but part of me was very sad, for I wanted to do something to show them their wrong. Why did they chose sin when they had every opportunity to choose God? The answer to this question is a mystery, just as it is a mystery that one man could cover all our sins to free us. Both sides of the spectrum brings questions.

If sin could be explained, it would no longer continue to be sin. It would be justified, validated, and advocated of which it is not. Why would a perfect being first sin? If we knew why, the reason would make it acceptable, but it isn't. By witnessing the atrocity of sin played out in its entirety we will be able to grasp those concepts so hard to realize.

In each of our lives God allows just enough uncertainty for us to doubt but also just enough reason to believe. We are then put into a position where we must, either deliberately or by avoidance, choose to doubt the love of God or cling to it with all our strength. Evil angels and godly angels battle to win us to their side, but ultimately this choice is ours.

After pondering all this over yet again, I was overjoyed to read the last several paragraphs:

There the redeemed shall know, even as also they are known. The loves and sympathies which God Himself has planted in the soul shall there find truest and sweetest exercise. The pure communion with holy beings, the harmonious social life with the blessed angels and with the faithful ones of all ages who have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, the sacred ties that bind together the whole family in heaven and earth - these help to constitute the happiness of the redeemed.

There, immortal minds will contemplate with never-failing delight the wonders of creative power, the mysteries of redeeming love. There will be no cruel, deceiving foe to tempt to forgetfulness of God. Every faculty will be developed, every capacity increased. The acquirement of knowledge will not weary the mind or exhaust the energies. There the grandest enterprises may be carried forward, the loftiest aspirations reached, the highest ambitions realized; and still there will arise new heights to surmount, new wonders to admire, new truths to comprehend, fresh objects to call forth the powers of mind and soul and body.

All treasures of the universe will be open to the study of God's redeemed. Unfettered by mortality, they wing their tireless flight to worlds afar - worlds that thrilled with sorrow at the spectacle of human woe and rang with songs of gladness at the tidings of a ransomed soul. With unutterable delight the children of earth enter into the joy and the wisdom of unfallen beings. They share the treasures of knowledge and understanding gained through ages upon ages in contemplation of God's handiwork. With undimmed vision they gaze upon the glory of creation - suns and stars and systems, all in their appointed order circling the throne of Deity. Upon all things, from the least to the greatest, the Creator's name is written, and in all are the riches of His power displayed.

And the years of eternity, as they roll, will bring richer and still more glorious revelations of God and of Christ. As knowledge is progressive, so will love, reverence, and happiness increase. The more men learn of God, the greater will be their admiration of His character. As Jesus opens before them the riches of redemption and the amazing achievements in the great controversy with Satan, the hearts of the ransomed thrill with more fervent devotion, and with more rapturous joy they sweep the harps of gold; and ten thousands times ten thousand and thousands of thousands of voices unite to swell the mighty chorus of praise.

The great controversy is ended. Sin and sinners are no more. The entire universe is clean. One pulse of harmony and gladness beats through the vast creation. From Him who created all, flow life and light and gladness, throughout the realms of illimitable space. From the minutest atom to the greatest world, all things, animate and inanimate, in their unshadowed beauty and perfect joy, declare that God is love.