Zeke is free

So, I was riding home on my bike and I for some reason took a different route. I was almost home when I saw this baby bird on the sidewalk all crumbled up and ready to die. I stopped and picked it up and took it home right a way. I went out to the store and bought some baby bird formula and oh was he hungry! I kept feeding him and found that he was a little chipping sparrow. I know it's illegal to have wild birds in your home but I couldn't just let him die. I drove by the same place later that day and found his brother dead on the cement. That could have been him too. Anyway, so I kept feeding him and he grew and developed such beautiful colors and feathers. He learned to fly quite quickly and I had to keep an eye on him all the time. Even as a sparrow he is just darling. His name is Zeke. On Tuesday I brought him to my local nature center and they will continue raising him and make sure he figures out how to eat bird seed and then set him free to fly all he wants and meet other sparrow friends. :) I'm thankful that God made sparrows and that I had a chance to be a part of this ones life. The memories will always make me smile. :)

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? and not one of them shall fall on the ground without your Father:

but the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:29-31

I think this is such a cool verse. God cares for the sparrow, He love the sparrow, He knows each sparrow that falls. Our amazing God loves us so much. He not only knows how many hairs we have but he even gives each hair a number. Just think, the hairs that fell out in my comb this morning may have been number 300 or 543 or 789 but God knows. Hairs don't really seem to be that big of a deal but He knows everything else about us just as much if not more intimately! We have nothing to fear with our God. I am so happy I am privelaged to serve him and that He is patient with me and works to improve my character each day. God is so good! :)

I need not cry

I hate the Devil
He does not care
He’ll lure you in
Then crush your face and heart

His joy is my anguish
And this disfigurement
My God will conquer you
Devil, just you wait

My God can pull me out
From those slimy fingers
I need not cry…
My God will hold me close.

I need not cry...

Last Post

I’m finally getting around to my last blog. I’ve been putting it off if you didn’t notice. Blogging was good especially because it helped me to express what I was going through and now I can go back and see how the experiences were and perhaps learn even more from them later.

So, after graduation I moved out of the dorm. My experience at WA is finished. I will miss the girls. Just as I started to really bond with many of them I had to leave. I am both glad and sad. It’s rather bittersweet.

Things that I have noticed now that I’m through are that I’m a more confident person. By stepping out of my comfort zone and away from the familiar I developed a sense of service and willingness to be more vulnerable for God.

I think when we become content sticking with the norm it’s easy for our lives to become stale. By pushing the boundaries of what we once thought we couldn’t do we become aware of God’s amazing power to do things in our lives whether that be in helping us to grow or guiding others in their journey to know God and follow Him.

Through it all it’s all His doing. We can’t take any credit. I can’t take any credit, for deep down, I’m truly a mere child; scared, naïve, inexperienced, and fragile. God is my source for anything good. Through Him I am brave, and strong, and I thank Him for taking my life this year and using it for something. I won’t know exactly what He’s done until He brings us home to heaven but I want Him to continue doing what He’s been doing far into the future and with even more fervor than before.

This year has truly changed my life. The process of planning, getting ready going, and recovering has been just under two years. I can scarcely believe it. I wouldn’t give up the experience for the world.

I have changed my major and plan on becoming a high-school science teacher. I haven’t decided if it will be in the private or public program. In whatever it is I hope to inspire a love of God in my students as well as a deep awe for what he has created. I realize this will be harder in the public system but God is good and has ways of working.

I still keep in touch with a few of my students and hope not to lose contact. I want to know how their lives progress.

I want to thank everyone for their support, prayers, and wishes.

This will be the last time I will notify everyone of blogs. I don’t really plan on blogging much in the future but may now and again, so feel free to check back at your leisure.

Everyone can be a missionary. All they need is a willing heart and God will use that where ever they are. It is my prayer that everyone will acquire the heart of a missionary.

In closing, I want to say, what an adventure!!! I am so happy about it. Below is a song that I wrote in the last week or so. It’s with the ukulele I bought in Yap. It’s about coming to God completely open asking him to lead everything. This year has been a testimony of the good and the bad and how God can use both for His glory.

End events

I'm tired. Tired of blogging. I think whatever I am feeling is equivalent to what the seniors must be feeling. Senioritis. Struggling to keep up the effort to push to the end. Longing to be finished.

Let's see, in the last month we've had spring concert, gymnastics homeshow and spring picnic. One thing that I really liked about spring picnic was interacting with the students. I kind of missed a lot of that coming at second semester. All the fall activities had already happened where staff and students get to know each other. I brought out my ukulele and let some of the students play it and also taught them a little about how it works. They thought it was really cool. If I teach at an academy I think I'm really going to enjoy being a class sponsor and getting to know the classes. That is one thing I really missed about Yap. I wasn't really a part of the students lives so much. I could see it starting to happen near the end. It seems like now I am just starting to feel comfortable with them and now it's over.

Below are some pictures from spring picnic. It was scorching hot that day, but a lot of fun. Last weekend was amateur hour, the yearly talent show. It was a great success. Many students sang and played their hearts out and I played the ukulele. That little instrument has turned out to be the best thing I bought in Yap. I was reluctant to spend my money on it. I wondered if I would actually keep up with it or get tired of it and let it collect dust. I can't always tell when I want to buy something. It turned out to be a great blessing. It reminds me of Yap and the memories I have. It also gives me a leverage to share about my experiences there and how God has worked.
It was really fun to play for people. I had never sang a solo up front before. I think it would be fun to do it more often. I think it's easier to play up front if you have a connection with your instrument. Piano didn't really do it for me.

One weekend the Dean and I made donuts for the girls. They were very hard to perfect and ended up being laden with grease but the girls seemed to appreciate them and I ate a few too many as well...

Our fish tank in the dorm has been really cool. One of our cichlids ended up having babies and I was telling the girls all about how cichlids take care of their young. They keep them in their mouths until they are big enough to swim on their own. This helps the babies breath and get enough nourishment. Some were grossed out, and some would ask me questions about it, eager to know why it happened that way. I felt like I was in the classroom again. It was very cool.

I'll be posting one more official blog I think to kind of sum things up a bit, Then that will be it for the updates.

Weekend, Spring, Content, Realization

Early this weekend the academy was hosting music fest which is a weekend where elementary students come from all over the state to participate in a singing clinic. Saturday afternoon there was a concert put on by all music students including our own. It was very nice. There were so many visiting students that there were 85 girls needing a place to stay. We were able to stay within fire code with only around 40 of the girls in the new dorm and the rest stayed in the gym and used beds that we had been using in our previous makeshift dorm. It was a very tiring few days because these elementary girls were loud and often disrespectful. They’re at the age when they’re beginning to become their own person. I am glad I don’t plan on teaching elementary school. That is all I will say.

Students took today as an opportunity to lay out on the grass and just hang out side. Spring has been welcomed with open arms. I went with several girls on an afternoon walk and we cut through a grassed corn field path to get back. I noticed a little mole as he scampered into a new hiding place after we had startled him. Frogs were happily singing away and I could see evidence of all the earthworms that have started unearthing bits of fresh soil.

Right now I’m typing as study hall is under way and the dorm is very quiet. I think everyone is tired and glad for things to be back to normal again. I was mopping up a mess in the laundry room a few minutes ago and I was thinking that I’m feeling a quiet, content feeling. I’m not worried about anything; just simply here and glad to be breathing. It’s rather refreshing.

I’ve come to a realization. It’s been gradual and I’ve understood it long before now but now it’s actually become a point in my brain. That is, that we need to put our utmost best into each encounter with every person. I’ve had opportunities to talk with many of the girls on an individual basis or in a small group and they have turned out to be really cool conversation about who they were and what they are going through. At the time it seemed like we were really connecting but then very often that time turns out to be the only opportunity with them in that way. And so, if I had been crabby that day and let myself be short or uninterested in them in that moment, I would have lost my opportunity.

I had a goal at the beginning of the semester to somehow take interest in each girl in the dorm and get to know them each individually. I have not really done that to the degree that I was anticipating. I’m not sure if it’s possible now that I really think about it. Each person needs different sorts of people to reach them. I do think though, that an impact can be made even if it’s only the slightest. For some girls I know I have made some sort of impact and on others it’s only been slight. But whatever size the impact is, it is extremely important that we treat each other with abounding love and patience. We should be interested, and listen the best we can, not just because that is how we want to be treated, but because each person deserves to experience such love.

Whether it’s been multiple times or only once, I cherish the short moments when I’ve connected with these girls.

So, this is not particularly related to deaning.

Yesterday, I finished reading The Great Controversy. I started reading in Yap around September. I read it almost every day in Yap, then took a two month break and then started up again. So minus the break time, it took about six months. It's a very long book, with a lot to think about. It starts out discussing the infant Christian church and follows it through the ages discussing the hardships and victories that it encounters. It ends with scenes of bright light and glorious love as our redeemer, Jesus Christ, finally conquers sin forever.

We are in this great controversy at this very moment and have been for the entirety of our lives. Earth is an invisible battle ground where angels and people alike are striving to overcome. The people and angels are of two classes. One class follows the living God, and the other, whether by denial of the all wonderful love of God or by open acceptance, follows the great deceiver, the devil himself.

This year has had many controversial moments. This life has had many controversial moments as I'm sure everyone reading this can also relate. Life here is not easy. Through it all I can say that I am tired, ready to go home to that place and be with my God.

Reading the last portion of the book was a not quite how I expected it to be. Reading of how the wicked of the earth will be put to death was not a pleasant thought. Yes, they will die and finally feel no more hatred or agony of the sin they have chosen, but part of me was very sad, for I wanted to do something to show them their wrong. Why did they chose sin when they had every opportunity to choose God? The answer to this question is a mystery, just as it is a mystery that one man could cover all our sins to free us. Both sides of the spectrum brings questions.

If sin could be explained, it would no longer continue to be sin. It would be justified, validated, and advocated of which it is not. Why would a perfect being first sin? If we knew why, the reason would make it acceptable, but it isn't. By witnessing the atrocity of sin played out in its entirety we will be able to grasp those concepts so hard to realize.

In each of our lives God allows just enough uncertainty for us to doubt but also just enough reason to believe. We are then put into a position where we must, either deliberately or by avoidance, choose to doubt the love of God or cling to it with all our strength. Evil angels and godly angels battle to win us to their side, but ultimately this choice is ours.

After pondering all this over yet again, I was overjoyed to read the last several paragraphs:

There the redeemed shall know, even as also they are known. The loves and sympathies which God Himself has planted in the soul shall there find truest and sweetest exercise. The pure communion with holy beings, the harmonious social life with the blessed angels and with the faithful ones of all ages who have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb, the sacred ties that bind together the whole family in heaven and earth - these help to constitute the happiness of the redeemed.

There, immortal minds will contemplate with never-failing delight the wonders of creative power, the mysteries of redeeming love. There will be no cruel, deceiving foe to tempt to forgetfulness of God. Every faculty will be developed, every capacity increased. The acquirement of knowledge will not weary the mind or exhaust the energies. There the grandest enterprises may be carried forward, the loftiest aspirations reached, the highest ambitions realized; and still there will arise new heights to surmount, new wonders to admire, new truths to comprehend, fresh objects to call forth the powers of mind and soul and body.

All treasures of the universe will be open to the study of God's redeemed. Unfettered by mortality, they wing their tireless flight to worlds afar - worlds that thrilled with sorrow at the spectacle of human woe and rang with songs of gladness at the tidings of a ransomed soul. With unutterable delight the children of earth enter into the joy and the wisdom of unfallen beings. They share the treasures of knowledge and understanding gained through ages upon ages in contemplation of God's handiwork. With undimmed vision they gaze upon the glory of creation - suns and stars and systems, all in their appointed order circling the throne of Deity. Upon all things, from the least to the greatest, the Creator's name is written, and in all are the riches of His power displayed.

And the years of eternity, as they roll, will bring richer and still more glorious revelations of God and of Christ. As knowledge is progressive, so will love, reverence, and happiness increase. The more men learn of God, the greater will be their admiration of His character. As Jesus opens before them the riches of redemption and the amazing achievements in the great controversy with Satan, the hearts of the ransomed thrill with more fervent devotion, and with more rapturous joy they sweep the harps of gold; and ten thousands times ten thousand and thousands of thousands of voices unite to swell the mighty chorus of praise.

The great controversy is ended. Sin and sinners are no more. The entire universe is clean. One pulse of harmony and gladness beats through the vast creation. From Him who created all, flow life and light and gladness, throughout the realms of illimitable space. From the minutest atom to the greatest world, all things, animate and inanimate, in their unshadowed beauty and perfect joy, declare that God is love.

Patience

I've had a dry blogging spell. I hadn't even given it much thought because things have sunk in so much. I've lately been feeling some restlessness about being just about the only twenty something on campus. Its' really starting to get to me. I enjoy exertions into town and days I see my family and friends more than ever. They mean a lot to me. I've been a little scatterbrained lately but I feel like I've been a bit distracted lately but hopefully that will end now.

Tutoring is in full swing now. I have found that even when I'm not feeling all that great, when I'm helping the students I have endless patience. I thank God for this gift. I really don't know what to say about it except that it astounds me that I can explain something and then do it again in a different way, then encourage them to try themselves and keep a calm, collected, patient, happy attitude. If I'm feeling irritated about something when I start I feel a little better when I finish. It's really astounding.

Tutoring isn't quite the same as teaching because it's on an individual level. The dynamics are very different and I didn't know much about it until I began it. I'm discovering that I like it but in a different way than teaching in a classroom. The subject matter is much more random in that I have to learn with the students because I'm not following along on a lesson plan.

I want to thank God again for the abilities He has given me to serve Him and others. The following text is Galatians 5:22-26 found in The Message Bible which is a paraphrase translation. It wouldn't be used when doing Bible study but it can be helpful and offers a clearer picture sometimes as it puts the Bible in a more literal language. I find what is says particularly nice.

But what happens when they live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way tat fruit appears in an orchard - things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction of the holiness found in God . We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.

Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way. Among those who belong to Christ, everything connected with getting our own way and mindlessly responding to what everyone else calls necessities is killed off of good - crucified.

Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make suer that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implicatiosn in every detail of our lives. that means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.