God can use you to make a difference

During church the sermon was about how we can make a difference to someone without even knowing it. The elder up front shared a story about when he visited a woman in a nursing home several times as a chaplain. She grew sicker and sicker but she would always request that he sing 'amazing grace' to her. That was her song. The short story is that she passed away and her sisters were talking to this elder and thanking him for everything he had done. The one sister recognized the elder even before meeting him. When he asked how, she said that her sister had told them everything about him, even that he wore silver tipped boots that he was wearing that day as well. They said that he had brought their sister back to Jesus, when they and no one also could. She didn't want anything to do with Him, but this elder made a difference and he couldn't believe it.

I know this happened for me in Yap. The biggest example of this occurred to me when I was leaving. Jeanna was so sad I was leaving, she was even a little angry. But then later she told me how much I had meant to her in those few months. See, she was an eighth grader and I didn't even teach her. I had just met her only a week or so ago. But she somehow thought the world of me. I didn't understand why. I think I passed her and a group of girls most days in the morning and I usually tried to be friendly but to her it meant everything. When I left she gave me a stuffed tiger, a devotional book and a note; it read:

Dear Ms. Miller
This is all I have to give you. I hope you like it. And remember what I said? That you made me a more self confident girl? Well your smile did. At first I don't really smile a lot, but when everytime I see you, you always have that smile on your face and I said, 'I want to be like her, like Ms. Miller.' For the last couple of months you somehow changed a part of me by giving me the warmest smile everyday. Thank you. I'll always remember you. And I understand the part that you're leaving. May God bless you always and your family. Hope you'll remember me too. I Love You!! Jeanna P.S. Put a smile on your face, cause you'll never know that you'll change someone's life or brighten up someone's day. Like Ms. Miller did to me...

I had no idea that I was doing this for her. I didn't even know I smiled everyday to her. I know I had many a tired and crabby mornings but apparently it did not show for her. God can use us in ways we never can imagine. We just have to be open to Him and be willing. I think one of the things I can do in the states now at WA is to just be a role model. The girls are going to be watching me because I've made it through what they're going through and I've succeeded. They will see what I've become and perhaps base their own lives on it. I'm different than the other faculty because I'm very close to age in them. I'm still a kid too in many ways and I can reach them in a way that no one can. Even if I'm not aware of it, it can happen. I can be a tool for God to use in their lives.

And even if I feel that I'm not doing much at times, I know that the fact that I can give the head dean a break is a huge thing for her too. She's been worked to death this last semester, and she does not complain. She needed a break and I can give it to her. I thank God that I can help and be of service at least in that way.

I don't really talk about Yap much anymore, but sometimes people still bring it up and it's different. It surprises me because I'm kind of like 'well, I talked about it enough, so why is it being drug up again?' I was comfortable talking about it before pretty well when it was fresh but now I really don't like it. It's interesting how I'm still dealing with it. It's like my brain sealed it all up when I got back and is now slowly releasing it in safe doses so it can be dealt with in a more healthy way than all at once. At each time I deal with another dose, I learn something new. Something is added to my character and I grow yet again in a little way.

If anything, be thankful that you are able to grow in hard times. Don't let them suffocate you but rather realize that you can take those experiences and let God change you through them to be better, to be stronger, to be an example of God's love and power.