Phone call

I talked to my mom this morning. We didn’t talk about anything in particular and even though it was nice to hear her voice it was not the voice that changed my outlook. Instead it was the act of talking to her. The main reason is because I used to do that. It brought our two worlds so close in such a way so that I don’t feel like I’m on a different planet anymore. A lot of the negative feelings I have been having about being here just disappeared. Today it started feeling like home here a little bit. I think this is so because I used to feel at home in places where I could talk to people on the phone that were familiar to me.

I’ve also noticed that listening to music that I used to is helping me to feel more at home. At first I was only comfortable listening to religious songs because they were encouraging. However, I am beginning to listen to more other music again and it makes this place just like any place.

I look around and these people I’m getting to know will only be here. When I leave I won’t be able to be with them anymore. This may seem like an extremely obvious observation but when you’re homesick all you want is to go where you have the more familiar again and it’s extremely easy to neglect the fact that if you did that the people in the new place would not be there.

This morning I was wondering what to read. I couldn’t figure out anything in particular so I turned once again to the chapter that I always find encouraging; Romans 8. I had not read it yet in my study bible so what I found there was something I had not read before. I finished the chapter and then began reading the commentaries about it. The commentary on verse 11 was first and that’s as far as I got because it just stood out.

It says, ‘”But if the Spirit of Him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, He that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by His Spirit that dwelleth in you.” O how precious are these words to every bereaved soul! Christ is our Guide and Comforter, who comforts us in all our tribulations. When He gives us a bitter draught to drink, He also holds a cup of blessings to our lips. He fills the heart with submission, and with joy and peace in believing, and enables us to say submissively, Not my will, but Thy will, Oh Lord, be done.’

This stood out because I feel this very way. Even though it’s really uncomfortable to think about not coming back to familiarity for 9.5 more months, I don’t care. I’d still rather be here where I’m a little uncomfortable because I know it’s where God wants me right now. I trust that I will be better off while being here than if I was not. I trust that God has plans to somehow reach others because of my experiences. Being comfortable is not worth it if it’s only for selfish reasons.

I love the students, and I’m glad I’m here.